Are you one of these people?

If you're in the United States and you're reading this blog, there is a better than one in 10 chance that you watched American Idol last night. 35.5 million people watched it. If you do happen to be one of those people, please put down your Budweiser and your Krispy Kreme, quit voting for George W Bush, and give me your undivided attention.

YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON.

Not clear enough for you? Then you've made my argument for me.

When this show started up in the UK umpteen years ago, it was kind of a neat idea, and the novelty of it would probably have made me want to watch it at least once. However, this fucking chunk of video sewage has been on for FIVE FUCKING SEASONS, and it just keeps getting stupider and stupider every year. This is the show that made that snotty patronizing unwiped monkey asshole Simon Cowell a household name in the USA. It also got William Hung a recording contract. (Even though you're a moron, I apologize for subjecting you to that site; I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.) This douchebag has a recording contract and had an album that debuted on the Billboard Top 200 (despite having all the musical talent of a bag of bricks), and I have to work for a living. Life is fair. I mean look at this asshole. Any entity that could possibly produce such an unmitigated festering pile of wrong is to be avoided at all costs.

And you assholes keep watching the damn thing.

Don't you know that if you keep watching, they'll keep making them? Do you really not understand why this is a bad thing? For crying out loud, do something more constructive with your time, like sleeping or walking into walls or alphabetizing your silverware.

Two million years of human evolution, and this is what we've come to.

Fuck.