Since I've been gone

It's been nearly three years since I posted an entry on my blog.

When last I posted, I was not aware that my career would tailspin so radically due to circumstances that were largely out of my control. Suffice it to say, there was a significant personality clash between me and my manager.

Wait a second.. the hell with that. I was fired. Things came to a head when my manager felt it necessary to yell at me in front of all of my co-workers for doing something that I thought I had been asked to do. I guess it was the last straw when I tried to defend myself instead of just rolling over and playing dead. I've never been in a less comfortable position in the workplace. While I am reasonably sure there were actions I could have taken that would have prevented my termination, I can say confidently that to dress down yell at someone who reports to you in full view/earshot of EVERY SINGLE ONE of their coworkers is unprofessional in the extreme. (By the way, how's that eHarmony profile working out for you? There's a reason you're single. Nobody can stand you.)

Now this wasn't the first time I've been terminated from a job. My job history is.. colorful.. to say the least. However, this one really hurt.

It means I can never apply for a job at Google.

Hell, when I tried to reach Google HR to find out if I was on the 'ineligible for hiring' list, my calls weren't returned.

Whether this is a result of overwork, a policy of not returning these kinds of calls, or an indication of my status, I don't know. All I know is that it very nearly killed me. I lost it, big time. The person from their in-house consulting group (I was a contractor) needed to almost literally talk me down from a ledge when she broke the news. I had seen this position as the 'foot in the door' that would hopefully exempt me from Google's infamously grueling multi-interview hiring process (which, realistically, I stood no chance whatsoever of passing in the usual way.)

I took it really personally.

It's coming up to three years ago now, and it still makes my hands shake a little bit from disappointment, anger, and frustration.

By now I'm sure you've written me off as some drama queen emo whiner who needs to man up and take his lumps like everyone else. To which I say: You don't know me. You don't know what it did to me. Next time you get fired from your foot-in-the-door, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, come look me up. I bet you'll think anyone who tells you to "man up" is going to sound like a total dick.

So people that I know have encouraged me to start posting again. Hi, guys. More to come.